2000- 2009 Ten years & I still find each day too short

10 years! One decade is about to complete in few days of this 21^st century. And I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, for all the walk I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to meet. 

As the year 2009 comes to close many fellow have began to discuss not only their tops of the decade and New Year of such. You know, few who think it's so important that they need to make a grand stand about it with friends close peers in disk/ malls / pub and what ever option a metro life offer them. Few think what rubbish back in the year 2000 was quick to bash anyone who said the new millennium because they were better than them for knowing that technically 2001 was the new millennium.

 What ever it is I look at this with   “My Ten Years” why my ten years not because it’s a new millennium first decade, not because my life is getting end here. My ten years is closed to me because this is the span of time from where my own actual journey get starts like many others of my age.

A school girl to livening life of my own, meeting odds in,  sometime living in my comfort zone &

some time breaking them. Looking back towards those ten years, the most important thing in my life was to get good marks and make myself presentable in school. Life was only in school coaching classes and being with my friends and of course lots of fun mischievous acts.Yes I was ambitious and had many dreams like other teenagers and agenda of my life to prove myself in front of my “papa” . Two years passed and I joined Aligarh Muslim University, three years there and by the time my big eyes had big dreams to explore metropolitan city Mumbai, 

breaking my first comfort zone, of deciding going alone leaving everything behind, every swaying offers behind.
I had no Idea what made me influence to let my self  be in Mumbai, as only in six month It was complete deprived cultural shock to me. The kind of family I had and the kind of back-ground I had belonged , taking these rough decision was not an easy attempt and had their own mode of payment . That makes you pay the price of everything you owe from life. What ever I have seen there, experience there lethal but true realities of life friend’s relations and  girls having the audacity to deal with any odd situation which suppressed all those odd ideas of mine about looking at women as a week and timid creature. I had now this capacity to look thing beyond the circumstances. Mumbai gave me my first identity, it made me realize Hard work self courage never goes rundown. It put me many times in odd situation but however always helped me to come out of it.
It given me excellent friends given me a new direction and made me see my dreams through, and then I broke  my comfort zone or call it destiny made me to do so, Delhi was calling and on sudden I was in Delhi.

This time more prepared missed hideously my friends, their support they cheers " Naaz you can do,  you are unique believe us " . with this there was the changes and experience lethal realities of life and paying price of many unwanted situations, realizing weakness of mine , on sudden I was again alone I was again out of the gathering. Life made me see altogether new equation which was derived due to I would say “law of reciprocate.” . I Took time to accept few thing and was no more dependable for my happiness sorrow on anyone. I got ample amount of time of my own self,  did new things which was always in back stage, understood everything changes with time better to accept it early, understood there is no one wrong or  right, its only the states of mind how we take it.

Some time I think what If I wouldn’t had come to Delhi, and get my answer also. This was not me who came to Delhi this was a destiny call who has created things and made me leaving my comfort zone since these last ten years. Every time I had an option to quit and every time I know what I am doing and how it may turn. I had got a new and good destination in career in life, more mature in thought more subtle and stable....

 10 years -a school girl to livening life of my own. When I turn back I think I had laps many thing but gain equally. And in all shorts and falls gain and high, I live truly; smile smile & smile & some time laugh for everything. :)

Some time I think where after one more ten years?  No idea may be no where,  may be with two kids and running behind them , may be with an adorable life time friend “ hubby ” may be an unwanted  situation , may be in an idiotic life,  would not comment further. What ever it is  one thing I know when I will turn back and look at my laps and in all shorts and falls gain and high , evaluating from there I will be smiling as today. and I am firm about it. :)

Love you life, love you my Ten years you are precious :)

Miss you Mashkallies , U taught me lesson

My Mashkallies are not anymore, they are killed by a cat. I was not there to save them. I am missing their presence their coo coo.
It seems Allah sends them to fill my life with their company and also wanted me to grow with one lesson when he asked back my mashkallies.

They were there with me, making me cheer, everyday after work I used to rush home to chq they are fine, have eaten and playing.
Their family-bond made me realized, no matter how strong we are, we need somebody to care for us, to think for us, to wait when we comeback from anywhere. And that is
What a family is there to fill these requirement.
No matter how the members are, a family is family united and there for each others. Because when this word “Family” is there no matter how alone u became u are never alone.
Their coo - coo and play make me think, even they are small in nature, and yet not able to fly, they are living every movement. Yes even we also did it in our child hood, but why we forgot it today. Coz we are grown up. Is there a set period of time to say cheers, to live. Why not almost every-day.
After few days there was one add on member in their family another pigeon may be a male one, not sure about it. Now with my mashkallies and their mother they were four compile, “Ham do Hamare do”

They used to play eat and do gutergoo together, I stopped keeping alarm with me there was no need for it, before I wake up, they were the one who used to make me get up for the morning.

During all that time my mom came to Delhi to visit me, I introduced her with my new frens, and asked her not to bother for them. She was fine and laughed “Accha Insaan kam pad gaye the Jo Kabootaro se dosti” :)

And then there was that night of their departure from my life. I remember I was not well, had cough n fever , I took my medicine open the window, my mom asked me to keep it close and sleep as I may again get cold. I was like if I closed the window, how they will go. So I decided not to close, I never knew that not doing this, actually I had invited their death this time. (This gives me a lesson, there is a time when we do thing rationally good, and in welfare, taking pain on ur behalf but it may turn out in all different shade may be very ugly , you betray it entire life, but you can’t change this. Life is unfair sometime but always fair in long term)

I fall asleep while, thinking about them, that they are growing and soon they will too start skipping and fly like their parents. They will to start going in search of food, them friend then have family.
(Life is an endless process it never stops with its yes and no till last breath)

It was mid of the light, I had taken cough syrup before sleep, due to this my eyes was heavy, I got up with some light noise or the pain which I felt that I got a punch on my heart. Only five minutes everything was over. Before I could stopped the cat, she ate one mashkallies and one was terribly choked in his nails. She came from the window, I was screaming, they were dead, and the cat took his upper part in his mouth and jumped from the rack, I tried to stop her. But she was more lithe then me, and ran away from where she came. My Mom got up, she too felt upset and asked me to sleep. She decided to clean it up everything from there next morning.

I couldn’t sleep for rest entire night, everything was getting flash baked to me, I felt so helpless, was complete deprived, wanted them back and I knew this, It now a destiny call. God asked them to comeback, even before they flee and see the world, even before they would have did all what others regular pigeons do ( Some time u plan, u are positive and do all your best but its destiny who decide )

Morning the one out of that four pigeon came, he was safe , he was keep on looking for them till evening. He saw their corpse was unable to express but was looking deep sad.

I only said “ I am sorry to you ” couldn’t save your family ( some time you are sorry but the depth of pain can’t refill no matter how much you try ) I went for my work, as I also wanted to divert myself from the loss . Whole day in office this all incident was in my mind.
I was not very keen to go back home. Every body was there but their coo- coo presence was not anymore. After few days the other pigeon stopped coming to my room. The cat was never seen after that awful night, as she only came to kill them. I stopped keeping my window open. And I realized “No matter how attached you are you had to look further Life is endless process. Their death has completed their story before it can begin. We yet to see many things. Keep moving ahead. Sometime with some one, and some time alone. No matter with how many people you are surrounded at a time u are complete alone. Just Move Even if hard to put your step so you don’t died with regret of not living your life. Life has given you full chance to live, and live it before you said I forgot.

Miss you Mashkallies you were be always there in memories.May Almighty Allah bless your soul.

My Mashkalli Mom is smart “Momma”

My Mashkalli's Mom is smart “Momma” Good Morning Madam it’s going to 7 clocks in the morning. Open the window you lazy human being. This is the way my morning kick starts these days.

My new guest Mashkalli’s mother is giving me little gyaan syaan. And being not that level stranger.

She now knows I am not going to create any hurdle in their family life, and I am also part of the room. She is now little chilled out and let me see her new born baby from the distance.

Hope soon she allowed me to play with them

The day before yesterday I was very upset and the tears were rolling down of eyes due to some reason , I realized some body is gazing , I looked here n there it was my mushkalli ’ S MOM , and when the we look at each other she skipped from here to there trying me to say don’t worry darling we there with you.

I love them for thier simple attitude in life, for the way her mom is teaching them.

Ye raat gahri bahut aur usase gahre eske iraade

To kya hua kar hausla bulund tu,

Ham bhi to hai sath tere .

Mere Ghar aai ek " Mashkalli " Ohho pyari se " Mattakl...

Mere Ghar aai ek " Mashkalli " Ohho pyari se " Mattakl

This is one of the cutest and wonderful story of my life which I came across few days before. Its start in the house we have taken on rent in North Delhi with my brother and cousin. This was two room set house wd and open roof . Our Land lord was on ground floor and we were in first floor.

With God grace I got extremely caring and good natured landlord ppl. I had taken one separate room for myself and other room was shared by my brother. We kept Tv, Comp

all in their room.

My room was with my stuff and books and had more bookish environment.

There is big window which open on road side from my room. And closed to that I put

my bed. on opposite side of it there is one rack side, where I kept those stuff which I don’t use regularly. It was quite long platform kind of and spacious place.At a time when in the morning I forgot to closed the window, and come back from my work I used to find pigeon leaping from here to there. There is one pair who found their house in my room, and they choose the rack side.

In the beginning I didn’t realize that I had few guest in my house who are royally living in my room and enjoying. Then One Night while I was browsing a book I realized their

“Gutargun” in light tone of voice. a pleasant voice, 'cooing' sound and most have about 4 or 5 types of calls.

I was initially scared who is there in my room, then realized this mid pitch is coming from the rack side. I kept my book aside and decide to see is there any pigeon forgot to go their home? I stood on chair to see what’s happening on rack and only I said “Oh My god” there is one “lofts” they have created with small dry gross paper, and wood sticks. There is one seems to be female pigeon was sitting on small eggs.

I couldn’t stand there for long and get down as she was equally scared by me and was staring me who “who the hell she is? Came to see my house that too without my permission”

Any way Morning I spoke to my brother about this, and he was “ yaar wo apna ghar bana rahe free me ” ham eggs utha ke bahar kar dete hai and u closed your window and keep cheqing the room.. I was little anguish with this, why to remove their eggs and home, and decided my small guest will stay in my room. This way first time I had “pigeon Room Partner”

I had a strict warning to my brother and his friends not to disturb them otherwise

“ Anzaam bahut bura hoga” . I have sweet brothers they easily get bounce with these kinda scolding.

I was watching their activity every evening I used to open one side of my window for their better transportation , and used to keep little uncooked rice or other grin so they don’t need to move any where far from their house.

Though still I was stranger for them and I too avoid going and chqs eggs if they were around. I was waiting for young pigeon to come out of their eggs and wanted to hear their

“Cooing”.

Two days before I was getting ready in my room for office the window was closed.

Suddenly there is one pigeon came out from rack and flee towards the window side. It seems He kept his small egg in his mouth; I was horrified and blank out what to do. He was roaming here and there. I open the window and went out of the room, he flee away.

I didn’t have dare to go and chq their lofts.I went to my work, in the evening when I came in my room, I found one egg ‘shell in my room, with little blood on it. It seems that young pigeon was out of their shell.

I was equally excited but didn’t dare to go n see as their parents cooing and presence was there and more over I didn’t feel like disturbing “A New Family bounding”

It was such a pleasant time. Next day in the night time again as my routine I was reading my books,I hear very pleasant and light “cooing” voice and I realized ohh the Mashkalli is there in my house.

It was such a pleasant time no matter you are a human being or a bird, the mother was their with them, feeding them taking care of them. She used to head off her wings to give them more comfort, and enjoying her motherhood time.

I saw them in the morning. Very small cute who were not able to walk, or fly I feel like touching them but was scared with their mother how she will react.

I feel like singing this song “Mere Ghar aai ek “Mashkalli” Ohho pyari se “Mattaklii”Door gagan se us par, meri mashkalli..

I said thanks to “Allah ” to give me a beautiful chance to live this movement.

Thank you God….

ek Barish ki Boond aur ek bhoola hua khawab

Maien en barish ke bundo ko dekhti hun jo aasman se tapak ke jameen pe tut jate hai, Aur fir mai khawabo ko dekhti hun, jo band aankho me pal jate hai . aur fir haqeeqat ko dekhti hun, ki wo bund jo aasman se tapka kabka mitti me ja chuka, aur nind khulne pe wo khawab bhi yaad na the.

Fir sochti hun, har jarrare ke kismat me hoti hai uska mit jana, han ye munsaib hai ki tareeka alag ho mitne ka.

Kyunki ek bund jo mitti me mil jati hai kabhi chaman me gir ke moti se ban jati hai.

aur fasane bhare pade hai haqiqat ke es duniya me jo sirf kabhi khawab the .

When Tomorrow Starts Without Me

When tomorrow starts without me and I'm not here to see...
If the sun should rise and find your eyes filled with tears for me,

I wish so much you wouldn't cry the way you did today...
While thinking of the many things we didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me, as much as I love you...
And each time you think of me, I know you'll miss me, too.

But when tomorrow starts without me, please try to understand...
That Jesus came and called my name and took me by the hand,

And said my place was ready in heaven far above...
And that I'd have to leave behind all those I dearly love.

So when tomorrow starts without me, don't think we're far apart...
For every time you think of me, I'm right here in your heart.

I am a women, Phenomenal women . Thats me..

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.I say,I
t's in the reach of my arms,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a womanPhenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a roomJust as cool as you please,
And to a man,The fellows stand orFall down on their knees.
I say,It's the fire in my eyes,And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a womanPhenomenally.Phenomenal woman,
That's me.....
Poeple often have wonderedWhat they see in me.
They try so muchBut they can't touchMy inner mystery.
When I try to show themThey say they still can't see.
I say,It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,The grace of my style.
I'm a womanPhenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,That's me.....
Now you understandJust why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump aboutOr have to talk real loud.
When you see me passingIt ought to make you proud.
I say,It's in the click of my heels,The bend of my hair,the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,'Cause
I'm a womanPhenomenally.Phenomenal woman,That's me....

My first encounter with the Buddhist monk

. This happen with me around 8:00 – 8:30 P.M, last week (23ed April 09 ) after finishing my work .

I was set out to travel by Metro from Azadapur to central sectaries while going home( Delhi). I was tired due to hectic work , stressed had very stressful week on personnel front. Over all an evening where I was just looking to keep myself aloof from everybody. (I used to think it is happening with me only where I am being anti-social (but mind it happen with everybody even with you) I was getting dam bore, and bugged up due to nothing reason.

Any way when I entered in the metro, I put on music and start listening music, I had novel (which I usually carry ), I tried vulnerable way to browse some pages. I was not consternating hundreds of things were coming in mind, which has no head n tail)and in between I realized I took a wrong train, It was going opposite direction I was so tired I could‘t even think of getting up, and changing the train in the next stoppages, All I thought leave It only two- three stops then this train will be going back to my destination. I am not going to change ,I closed my eyes tried to catch some dose of sleep. As this route is little less commercial and train was reaching to its last stop there was not much crowd. there were hardly 25- 30 people with whom I was traveling.

Around ten minutes letter, train reached to its last stops, people with whom I was traveling got up and left the train and few more got in the train. The Train had 5 minutes stop there. I open my eyes and was waiting in the train to start.Few asked me, Madam this is last stops I smiled and replying them, I know but I had to go in opposites way,.

As I was sitting in the train, something astonishing happened. To the right of my seat the door of metro, I saw two Buddhist monks stepped in the train.
a middle-aged man with East Asian features wearing a yellow-orange robe. One was immediately followed by a tall man, who then caught up with him, and the two walked side by side talking. How come don’t know but they choose sat next to me, though the train was less packed. At once I realized that I was looking at a Buddhist monk. I had seen Buddhist monk before, But This was the first time I was Traveling with them (It was a short journey only)

I had just begun to read about Buddhism a few months earlier, and I knew from my reading of Hermann Hesse’s Siddhartha that Buddhist monks wore saffron robes. Thus I could identify the person I was seeing as a bhikkhu. I was struck with wonder and amazement at the sight of this serene, self-composed man, who radiated lightness, inner contentment, and dignity. I had never identified them and seen before in closely
The small man alongside of the taller one presumably a professor, seemed to show him a certain respect and deference, which suggested to me that he was not an ordinary monk but a person of some stature. Just watching them in the train only, I was filled with joy and out of my boredom and tiredness. (Probably the reading of Robin Sharma n Paulo Coelho Novel too was an influence on me so I was gazing them and trying to understand their behavior. I would’t not deny that after what ever I read, I never wanted to know them how they live, I always wanted to know.

My feeling might have been similar to what a young Boy in the school might have felt if he looked up and for the very first time saw, and willing to keep many question but feel shilly-shally to ask. Train has started now running and I was thinking let me asked my quarries I am not doing nay crime asking genuine question, I am sure they will reciprocate. I wanted to approach those Monks and asked them who they are what they do and many other questions. But I was too shy, afraid that I would appear foolish. So I just sit there watching them, devouring them with my eyes, observing their movement during the four or five minutes. I was transfixed; then the small one the professor looked
at me I alter my eyes and sitting posture here and there with little embarrassment, He caught me gazing and passed a smile. I gave them back a confused smile The small man asked me You from Delhi, this is a great city. I replied yes and asked as I will ever get chance back
I am not really from Delhi but this city is my workplace, and the most stupid question I asked Are you “Monk bhikkhu” I mean I read a lot about you guys but never get interacted. The Tall one who also looking at me smile and said yes we are monk Bhikkhu
and studying philosophy – a subject about which he could speak with a boldness that would have drawn blushes from any ordinary one. I was confused to got the answer, then The Tall one whose name was very difficult to pronounce and the second one though they were communicating in English it was relatively difficult to understood them that well as they had different pronunciation. He said he is in India last two years and the small one who was his professor was there in India last ten years, learning philosophy.
They both from Malaysia and really found of India and the professor one said truly Incredible India. He was there in India since last Ten Years and was at the age of 50 plus
I barely identified him 35 plus. He was bony but had graceful glow on his face.

He said, was the rector of one Buddhist University and an accomplished Buddhist scholar. He had gotten a doctorate from Nalanda Buddhist Institute in India and had written an important comparative study of the Pali Majjhima Nikaya and the Chinese Madhyama Agama. He had learn Japanese philosophy , all The Vedas which he named as well Rigveda Yajurveda, Samveda, Atharveda not only this they studied about Ramkrishn pararhamhans Arya Samaj, Vivekanand, Mahatma gandhi, Nehru, Ancient India, Modern India, and even political science etc, They were so good with the Sanskrit language . Thanks to my History honors graduation degree of AMU, I could at least relate what they were talking. They visited the core part of India. This was very interesting to know. The train was reaching Its destination and I had less time to ask my quarries. Through out this small journey they were very amiable and pleasant .

There was one very interesting question which I asked them, is being monk peccary you need to study philosophy , and they replied Philosophy is actually a science like physics chemistry and other its is study of knowledge, truth, beauty, law, justice,language.it is a subject of wisdom to learn. which people across the world learn and educate other, while Monk is the way of living life which is detached from other though we live in the same world. It is not a subject to learn this is a way of living life same way as other even you do live, the approach is different.
I asked one more stupid question do u really enjoy living this way detached , He chuckled and replied me yes of course that's why we choose it.
Then I told then do you go to Himalaya and practice buddisham and all as I kept reading in the novel, I am sorry but I am unaware with subject.
he answer which I kept in my g talk MSG as well its better to "Try and fail, but don't fail to try". Its good and that you had an argue to know little girl.

No not necessary every Monk Bhikshu has to go and do the same practice, though even I also live in a place name Dhramshala ( Himachal pardesh) beautiful place for two years, but we live and practice life as an ordinary man , you know Dalai lama, he was there in Dharamshala when I was staying there for a visits.he is monk but as-well a strong political leader.

That’s why I am saying studying Studying philosophy is a subject to study which could be studied by many , being a monk is live and practicing a diffract and spiritual way of life.

Actually true, what you study is not necessary you practice. The context is different here but Subject is same.( As for me)

Train got stopped at Rajeev chauk , they were supposed to get down as this was their destination of journey, they wished me and again said India is good very good Incredible India and people too very good.and we now know thora thora Hindi( the way they said was very cute) I smiled at them. Train again started, my destination was only two stop more,
When I left the train, I was convinced we would never meet again; I did nothing to consciously facilitate another meeting with them. Yet I made a whole series of decisions, without any conscious design, I was happy, I was no where tired.

This story I am trying to keep short, but I know on this incident if tomorrow I will write a book I can, I had enough things to discussed and versatile., I was content I asked and knew some thing which I didn’t knew much about them.

This was always my hobbies to know and interact with various cultural of people and knowing them. It was good to know this part of life. Tomorrow if I read something about them at least I will be in better position to know and understand them.
I was happy and content , I went home , I took bath and I slept , I slept for long and I was happy. As I utilized my day and learn to know..

aaNkhoN kaa rang, baat kaa lahjaa badal gayaa

aaNkhoN kaa rang, baat kaa lahjaa badal gayaavo shaKhs ek shaam meN kitnaa badal gayaa !
kuch din to meraa aks rahaa aaiine pe naqshphir yuN hu’aa ke Khud meraa chehraa badal gayaa
jab apne apne haal pe ham tum na rah saketo kyaa hu’aa jo hamse zamaanaa badal gayaa
qadmoN tale jo ret bichii thii vo chal paRiius ne chuRaayaa haath to sehraa badal gayaa
ko’ii bhii chiiz apnii jagah par nahiiN rahiijaate hi ek shaKhs ke, kyaa kyaa badal gayaa !
ek sar-khushii kii mauj ne kaisaa kiyaa kamaalvo be-niyaaz, saare kaa saaraa badal gayaa
uThTh kar chalaa gayaa ko’ii vaqfe ke darmiyaaNpardaa uThThaa to saaraa tamaashaa badal gayaa
hairat se saare lafz use dekhte rahebaatoN meN apnii baat ko kaisaa badal gayaa
kahne ko ek seh’n meN diivaar hii baniighar kii fizaa, makaaN kaa naqshaa badal gayaa
shaayed vafaa ke khel se uktaa gayaa thaa vomanzil ke paas aa ke jo rastaa badal gayaa
qaayem kisii bhii haal pe duniyaa nahiiN rahiitaa’biir kho gayii, kabhii sapnaa badal gayaa
manzar kaa rang asl meN saayaa thaa rang kaajis ne use jidhar se bhii dekhaa badal gayaa
andar ke mausamoN kii Khabar us kii ho gayiius nau-bahaar-e-naaz kaa chehraa badal gayaa
aaNkhoN meN jitne ashq the jugnuu se ban gayevo muskuraayaa aur merii duniyaa badal gayaa
apnii galii meN apnaa hii ghar dhhuNdhtee haiN log“Amjad” ye kaun shah’r kaa naqshaa badal gayaa

When I meet this stranger and experience being stronger.

This story start 6th month before in my ignorance that I am getting noticed by a stranger who also live next to me. I moved to Delhi in 2008 and moved to this rented place- MalwiyaNagar.I could only recall that apart from few weeks I hardly knew anybody around me.
My days start in the morning, getting prepared and rushing to office hoping not getting late again, same mania happens in the evening same time, since I even don’t notice who is there. Yes while coming back from work I used to be time little relaxed, I walked down my street, buy fruits etc. That’s my relation with Malwiya nagar. On weekends generally I work or I go to meet my friends, over n all I had very low profile in this aria. I never expected that anybody could notice me expect the grocery shop man.
I always used to cross one small lane before or after coming to home. There I guess I realized about this guy who must be around in his 30es sitting on the wheelchair, one day I noticed that he always give a smile to me, whenever he saw me, in return after few days I also  gave smile. At a time I used to feel mercy on this guy and sometime I may thought what went wrong with him that he is on wheelchair.
Now the counterpart of this story, it happened, I fell down from the staircase and my hands swelled from wrist to shoulder. It started hurting when I move. I was appalled and went to doctor, there he cleared out that it’s not fractured, gave me an injection and put a bandage in my hand for two days. It was painful and irritating, this was really frustrating me that day. Evening when I was crossing the same lane, I was on phone talking to somebody and sounding very miserable, I saw him sitting on same place on his wheelchair.  This Man first time called me “Madam” I first didn’t even notice, then little loudly he again asked me hello. I turn back and replied HI.
He rolled his chair said sorry myself is Narender, mai yahi rahata hun, ( I stay closed by) and asked what happen to me why I am looking sad , I exposed him my  hand, and told him , I got hurt and this hand is swelled poorly and paining me. He chuckled and replied so what happen look at this legs even if you cut them I won’t even feel any pain, this is in sense . I don’t feel anything down part of body. I was stunned and asked courteously why this happen with you. He said I always see you when u crossed this lane, “Aap Mujhe bahut acchi lagti hai” I always thought to speak to you once but never has courage to speak. You please come to my house I live here only I said no I m getting late he insisted me to come and added don’t worry my uncle too is there he came to meet me. I smiled I went to his house, this was one room attached kitchen  flat, one bed two chairs  and one small fridge , TV was there the room. He gave me a glass of water and said, "I am from Jammu, loved driving fast on the hill and once I was driving I meet with accident and fall down from the height. He chuckle and said this happen 6 years before. I was in coma for more than a year; I was a rejected and no hope case. I asked then, I replied , “My spinal bone injured roughly, doctor said it has injured badly now only it can’t be recover, but I know it will recover one day I will be able to walk like others. After one year coma I was on bed for another year, I used to only see and fell around me not able to do nay thing of my own. Then slowly I recover and came to this wheelchair, Isn’t an achievement, he smiled I smiled and said yes. He continued Now I seat on this wheelchair own, and I can go alone to the washroom do my essential things on my own. I was almost feeling embarrassed for myself for cribbing a small injury while listening to him.
He was chuckling but I was gazing him thinking how come he seems so content. If this could happen with me, will I be that okay, certainly not.
In the night I spoke to my brother about this, he said few lines which were very realistic and true concealed aspect of life, he said “Narender made compromise with his circumstance. He has no complain except waiting for his life to meet a good end. A pessimistic and optimistic both meet the ends of life. But the choice is what which matter. He chooses to be optimistic and make other cheerful with his presence.
It’s been 6 years he is in on wheelchair he don’t know when he will be able to walk. I pray, the day comes early in his life.  No sympathy word for him, as I find him stronger than those who are not handicapped but yet not able to live life in optimistic way. May be I am too among those. We look for support sympathy in our life. He runs without those. Hat’s off to his courage.